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One free Hill
 Our favorite mobster-turned-Orthodox Jew is in the news again. Henry Hill (whose life was portrayed in the 1990 flick Goodfellas) was charged in a Lincoln, Nebraska court for second-degree trespassing, third-degree assault and disturbing the peace. This is on top of methamphetamine and cocaine charges brought against Hill when his bags were searched in the Nebraska airport. He's now out on $1000 bond. Hill was supposed to be a columnist for the new Justice Magazine, but now his employability is in serious question.
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| Thursday, April 28, 2005 |
Battle of the Jewish Senators?
We know it's early, but gosh darn it we just can't help but prognosticate about one 2008 election. Why, because up in the hinterlands of Minnesota we might just see two Jewish boys go at it -- and one of them's funny.
Air America radio personality and famed comic Al Franken is moving back to his homeland (err.. other homeland) Minnesota, and he's taking his radio show with him. Why this matters to the other Jewish boy, incumbent Senator Norm Coleman, is that Franken said he'd move home before he ran against Coleman.
So does this mean Franken is definitely running?
"I can tell you honestly, I don't know if I'm going to run," says Franken. "But I'm doing the stuff I need to do, in order to do it."
Either way, we're sure Coleman doesn't find it a laughing matter. Franken does, after all, have quite the name recognition and a penchant for making conservatives blush (see his reduction of O'Reilly to snivelling "Shut up!" at a Book Expo). But conservative MOT's can take heart. The launch of Air America wasn't exactly a smooth operation, so maybe Franken's political aspirations may stumble as well.
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Coupling
Wondering what Friends' David Schwimmer is up to? He may be dating Sex and the City siren Kim Cattrall as they've been seen recently sharing intimate meals together.
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Mob mentality
Some Jews may be wishing that mafia princess Victoria Gotti is swimming with the fishes. A recent episode of Growing up Gotti showed the reality TV star in a "Social Therapy" counseling session. The controversial form of counseling has been labeled as cult-like and even anti-Semitic. The group is headed up by a man called Fred Newman, who has blasted the institution of families, and who once said, "The Jew, the dirty Jew, once the ultimate victim of capitalism's soul, fascism, would become a victimizer on behalf of capitalism; a self-righteous dehumanizer and murderer of people of color; a racist bigot."
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| Thursday, April 21, 2005 |
Best line about the new German pope
Former Tonight Show writer Ray Siller on one change in the church we can expect from the new pope: "When going to confession, the priest will make parishioners say six Heil Marys."
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Oh Sandy
Reporters who want to interview Sandra Bernhard must agree to some ground rules first. They're not allowed to discuss her Judaism or her belief in Kabbalah. Shouldn't be too much of a problem. After all, who wants to interview Sandra Bernhard?
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The other kosher primate
The Associated Press had a rather charming story about gorillas at a Tel Aviv zoo. Seems that during Passover, being that they've got Jewish handlers, they have no choice but to lay off the leaven along with the humans.
We can feel their pain, being as how they normally get a "slice of bread with cream cheese" every morning. That's a hard breakfast to part with, but that's not the biggest worry they've got. Seems if they eat too much matzo, they'll be dealing with a whole other digestive problem -- constipation.
One more Passover tradition -- gorilla poo. Who knew?
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The Passion of the Jackson
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, a one-time advisor to Michael Jackson, has some harsh words for his former friend. "Michael's biggest problem was that he thought he was Jesus Christ," Shmuley yelled while appearing on Court TV today. "He thought he was the Messiah." Ouch.
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Matisyahu goes mainstream
Matisyahu finally earns his street cred by leaping from the pages of insular Jewish blogs to a full-blown profile on the AP newswire which will be picked up by newspapers nationwide. Hope he remembers the little people. No, seriously, we're very short.
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Rebbe rouser?
President Bush has declared today "Education and Sharing Day" in memory of the late Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson. Um, wouldn't it have made more sense to just call it "Lubavitcher Rebbe Day"?
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Chasson and kallah no more
Actor James Caan (currently being seeen on Las Vegas and most famous for his roles in The Godfather series) is separating from his wife. All future applicants for the role of Mrs. Caan must be able to marry a kohen.
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| Tuesday, April 19, 2005 |
Philly cheese
Pop star Phil Collins, long reviled as a pro-Palestinian hack, has agreed to perform in Tel Aviv this November. Can you say desperate for a career comeback?
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| Monday, April 18, 2005 |
Oy, what's that noise!?
For fans of Jewish heavy metal (and really, how could you not be), Sunday night will be one for the ages. Courtesy of VH1 Classic and sponsor Manischewitz, you can enjoy a special seder heavy metal style.
"Matzo and Metal: A Very Classic Passover" will feature former Twisted Sister front man Dee Snyder, his bandmate JJ French, Leslie West (of band Mountain), and Anthrax's Scott Ian. All will speak of their time in the music biz and their time in the Jewish biz, while dining on kosher for Passover goodies.
And you can watch, on Sunday at 7 p.m. EST.
No, really. You can watch. Go ahead, just set your TiVo. We promise, it won't hurt. C'mon. Dee Snyder is really a nice guy. Seriously.
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Fox goes grassroots to save David Cross' gig?
We adore the oddly named member of the tribe David Cross whose stellar work on the stellar show Arrested Development has helped make Sunday night must-see-TV. Much has been made since then about the peculiar reality that such a succesful and popular show is facing the possibility of cancellation.
Well, now Fox is pitching in to help out -- but not by just granting the show another season. No, that would be too easy. Instead, the network that, ummm... has the power to keep the show alive, is asking us (the fans) to ummm... keep the show alive.
The NYTimes has a write-up on the odd little stunt, but let's simplify it for you:
- Fox has the power to re-up the show for another season, but they don't do that.
- Instead they design GetArrested.com, a faux-grassroots petition site where you can take the "Arrested Development Loyalty Oath."
- 54,000+ (as of this post) people go to said site and sign said oath.
- We still have to wait another month to find out if they're going to bring the damn show back.
My head hurts, but if you're still confused, hopefully this quote will help, courtesy of Fox spokesman Joe Earley: "Everyone is accustomed to fans rallying to save a show. We thought, what if we could find a way to take that energy and say to fans, 'instead of complaining to us, find someone else to watch the show.'"
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| Thursday, April 14, 2005 |
Jesus and Jimi
From Reuters:
A Greek court on Wednesday has lifted a ban on selling a cartoon book from Austria depicting Jesus Christ as a drinking buddy of Jimi Hendrix and a marijuana-smoking, naked surfer.
Hey, that was our idea.
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The benefactor
Finding even more ways to waste away his millions, philanthropist Michael Steinhardt is going to pump $12 million into Jewish demographic studies. What the ...?
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New bastion of anti-Semitism -- Native Canadians?
Who knew that Canada's Indians (that would be Native Canadians? Native Americans... in the larger sense of the Americas?) are a bastion of Jew-hating types? Well, if you didn't know before just take a gander at the remarks of Manitoba First Nations chief Terrance Nelson.
In a recent fax, he alleges "Jewish-controlled media ignore aboriginal struggles, and instead focus criticism on David Ahenakew during his hate trial." Ahenakew, another ummm... Canadian aboriginal, is on trial for calling Jews "a disease" and suggesting the Holocaust was all good.
Yeah, we just hate it when an anti-Semite is defended by another anti-Semite, but man does it make for good news copy. So thank you Chief Nelson. We at the Central Headquarters of the Jewish World Media Conspiracy couldn't sell nearly as many newspapers without you, and you're really helping with our efforts to expand the business into the nether regions of Canada.
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And the band (member) played on
 Wondering where Jewish pop star Jaron Lowenstein has been recently? He's currently performing on stage in a retro retelling of Cinderella for children called Cindy and the Disco Ball at the Falcon Theatre in Los Angeles. Next you'll be able to see him on the big screen in the upcoming coming-of-age bar mitzvah flick Lucky 13 in the role of Cantor Nathan.
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Another one bites the dust
It appears that the spawn of Courtney Cox and David Arquette won't be brought up Jewish like her father. The parents baptized little Coco this past weekend in Cox's hometown of Birmingham. Well, maybe she'll have a Kabbalah bat mitzvah or something.
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Porn pioneer has second act
 Former porn peddler Al Goldstein is making a comeback. The publisher of the now-defunct magazine Screw, Goldstein ammassed a multi-million dollar fortune only to see it all go away when the proliferation of Internet porn made his business model outdated. Goldstein became so poor, he took to sleeping in Central Park and hanging out in a kosher deli where he would be paid meagerly to greet the customers. Now Goldstein is returning to the porn industry by signing on to the be the spokesperson for XonDemand, a video-on-demand porn Web site. We're glad to see the 69 year old has still got it in him.
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| Thursday, April 07, 2005 |
Who asked this guiy to help?
Continuing his quest to butt his head into a situation he has no place being, Pretty Woman star Richard Gere is trying to accomplish what world governments couldn't -- peace in the Middle East.
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| Wednesday, April 06, 2005 |
Slacker dude gets busy
Actor Seth Green is getting busier. In addition to creating the new cult hit Robot Chicken on the Cartoon Network, appearing on the upcoming season finale of Will & Grace, and returning to voice Chris Griffin on new episodes of Family Guy, the 31-year-old has just signed on star in the NBC pilot Four Kings. Somewhere, we assume, Dr. Evil is shepping nachas.
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Brit's bedroom, come one come all
 Despite the fact thet UPN just announced they would be airing a reality show based on the lovey-dovey newlywed life of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, there seems to be trouble in paradise. Amidst rumors of a possible pregnancy and sleeping in separate beds, Britney has gone and got herself a spiritual advisor, a Kabbalah rabbi to be exact, to help her through the stormy waters of her troubled marriage. Has anyone even considered yet that maybe it was the rabbi, attempting to get Britney and Kevin to observe the laws of niddah, was the one who told them to sleep separately?
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